Right turn, Clyde!

This topic has been on my mind a lot lately, and I wanted to share something with you. There is life after tragedy! We have all been hurt, some of us even devastated, by the actions of another. Maybe more than once. But, as God clearly shows us in Job, there is life after tragedy, and it can be a good life...perhaps even better than ever before... if we keep our hearts tender. Not that we should leave ourselves open to continued hurt or abuse from the one(s) who have hurt or taken advantage of us, but we CAN forgive them because many times...they "know not what they do".

Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. Many times those who have hurt us are not even aware of the effect they've had, and are certainly not walking around wondering if we have forgiven them. Most people do not set out intentionally to hurt someone else. Yes, there are those who do, but for the most part people are basically good. Clueless, maybe, but not intentionally hurtful. Think about this...if Jesus Christ could forgive those who DID intentionally set out to crucify him and end his life and ministry, asking God to forgive them "for they know not what they do" how can we hold on to anger and unforgiveness toward someone who has hurt us, and say that we are endeavoring to follow Christ's example?

I've been wondering, how do I detect unforgiveness in my life? How do I know if I've truly forgiven someone? What are the telltale signs of unforgiveness? What is the magic formula for making sure I'm not holding on to anger and allowing bitterness to take root in my heart? Where are the mental checkpoints? Well, you may have guessed that there is no "magic" formula. But there is a simple solution. It's not easy at first, but it gets easier with practice. Like driving a car. 

Making a safe right turn in a moving vehicle is a gradual process involving a series of deliberate actions. You see the landmark ahead, decide you're going to turn when you get there, and you take your foot off the gas. As you approach the break in the road you turn on your signal, establishing your intention to change direction. When you arrive at the turning point, you apply the brakes to adjust your speed in order to negotiate the turn safely, turn the steering wheel of your vehicle in the direction you wish to go, and complete your turn. It is a process that starts with making a decision.

The same principles can be applied to forgiveness. When tempted to remember the actions involved or perhaps the words spoken that cut to the bone, I can simply make the decision to begin the process of making a mental "right turn" and get off that road. That means I must take my foot off the gas and refuse to travel any further. I must bring to mind a scripture that will be my landmark to a new road, perhaps Ephesians 4:32, which says 'Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you'. Dwelling on what caused the pain will not change anything. Talking about it won't change it. Wishing it didn't happen, or that I had behaved differently when it did, won't change it. What's done is done, and it doesn't profit anyone (especially ME!) to relive the painful details. I must make the decision to stop my "mental vehicle" from traveling further down a negative road.  I am the driver, and I must decide to turn my thoughts in a positive direction. It's my decision, no one else can steer my thoughts for me, and magic is not involved.

As I steer my thoughts toward those that Father would have me think, dwelling on something good or positive about a person or persons who have caused me hurt, that first thought will be like turning the steering wheel. Maybe I can't summon a positive thought about the people involved, but I can remember what God has forgiven ME for, and choose to put on the mind of Christ as I direct my mental vehicle. When a bad memory pops up on my mental GPS, I can turn the wheel to avoid that pothole. As I begin traveling down the highway I can stay within the lane markings clearly laid out for me in God's Word. 

Remember the old Clint Eastwood movie "Every Which Way But Loose"? Clint had an unusual front seat passenger who often traveled with him in his vehicle, an orangutan named Clyde. At one point in the movie a "bad guy" positioned to the right of them as they were stopped on a road was taunting Clint's character. He devised an effective solution to solve that problem which involved utilizing the unique talents of his traveling companion. He took control of the situation by saying "Right turn, Clyde" and a very effective knock out punch was delivered to the bad guy.

You may be thinking "But, it's just me! I don't have a partner in life, there's no one in the passenger seat to deliver that knockout punch! I don't have a 'Clyde'!" Ah, but you do, if you have confessed Jesus Christ as your lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead as the Bible tells us in Roman 10:9&10. If you have done this, Colossians 1:27 declares that you have Christ in you the hope of glory!  That means you are never alone. You are a fellow worker with God, who has promised to never leave you and never forsake you. You have the gift of holy spirit and all of it's manifestations available to you, 24/7/365/eternally! You have the tools you need. You just need to use them. It's your decision, it's your vehicle, and you choose the road you travel.

You may have suffered hurt, even tragedy in your life. But there is a healer of broken hearts. He'll mend your shattered dreams. He'll pick up the threads of your broken heart and weave them together again. To your soul he'll bring peace and joy, and your friend, indeed, he'll be. Jesus Christ endured all the pain necessary to bring us healing from any and all pain we have suffered. If you will keep your mind on things above, put on the mind of Christ, keep your heart tender and become like a little child, let go of past hurt, get it off your mind, forget it, move forward and enjoy the life you have left, you will deliver a knockout punch of forgiveness to the "bad guy" that would make Clint (and Clyde) proud!

God's Word, when it's followed, allows us to live a simple, beautiful, enjoyable life. Decide to "make a right turn" today, and begin the process of forgiveness. There's simply no better gift you could give yourself.

God bless you


'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.' ~ Maya Angelou

I was meant to be free..

This is about my vision for my life. A vision statement is a vivid description of a desired outcome that inspires, energizes and helps you paint a mental picture of your target. The other day I wrote out some "Vision Thoughts" for myself. Call them affirmations, declarations, dreams, whatever you will. I suppose this qualifies as my 'vision statement'. I'm sure it will be refined over time, but for now these are the thoughts that inspire, energize, and motivate me to build a better life for myself and those I love. Perhaps you can relate to one or two of these thoughts. The vision thoughts (or statements) are written bolder and larger for a reason.

And then God answered: "Write this. Write what you see. Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run. This vision-message is a witness pointing to what's coming. It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait! And it doesn't lie. If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab. 2:2,3 The Message

I was not meant to sit behind a desk!

I was meant to be free to move, and I'm moving toward that vision.

I was not meant to toil at tasks menial and tedious, depressing and rote, mindless and numbing!

I was meant to be free to push my mind in new and fresh directions, seeking innovative and unique methods.

I was not meant to punch a time clock every day!

I was meant to be free to start my day spending as much time as my spirit needs, talking with my Father.

I was not meant to be enslaved to an 8, 9, 10 or more hour workday, day after day after endless day!

I was meant to be free to spend as much time as necessary with my children, to show my love for them.

I was not meant to stop dreaming!

I was meant to be free to dream big, giant dreams, Technicolor 3D dreams, and watch them come true.

I was not meant to live in a pale, pastel world devoid of color and vibrancy!

I was meant to live with passion, color, vibrancy and joy~I was meant to live a life of purpose.

I was not meant to live a life solely concerned with myself and my circumstances!

I was born again to serve; meant to live a life of helping others rise to their true potential and be all that God has called them to be, enjoying the blessings obtained by helping others, as well.

 

I AM DETERMINED TO LIVE THE LIFE I WAS MEANT TO LIVE!

The Power of a Note

How often do we think "thank you" in our heads but neglect to come out and say it, much less take the time to actually sit down and write a note?

Recently, I penned a short thank you note to someone who did something nice for my daughter and I. Honestly, I can't even remember my exact words, but they came from the heart. I received this communication the other day, weeks after sending the short thank you note. While in a business meeting, she received my note. Her reaction to my few short lines was unexpected and heartwarming.

'Hi! Oh, my goodness, that was so sweet of you! Tears came to my eyes when I read it. I have saved it in my "treasure box" with other communications from friends and family that I have received over the years.'

I'd forgotten about the note soon after sending it, and had to think a moment to mentally identify what this lady was referring to. Since she mentioned putting it in a treasure box, I knew it wasn't an email. When I recalled writing the note and the reason behind it, it warmed my heart that such a small thing to me should have such an impact on her life. To think that she placed such great value on a few words of thanks from a mere acquaintance really touched me. For anything I do, say or write to be treasured and kept close to someone else's heart is a wonderful gift.

I was reminded how important it is to guard our words, as well as how valuable and impactful a simple "thank you" can be when it comes from the heart. And a note in particular, something a person can hold in their hand, read and re-read at will, is extra special. In this day of texting, emailing and instant messaging to take the time to actually hand write a note says you put a little extra time and thought into that particular "thank you".

Has someone done something nice for you lately? If so, have you thanked them? From the heart? In writing? Take a moment and ask yourself to whom you need to say "thank you" today...and write them a note. It could change their day, perhaps even their life, in a positive way. It could start a wonderful, thankful chain reaction. It could end up in a box of treasures, resting there for years to come, pulled out lovingly from time to time, held in thankful hands, re-read, causing a smile, and blessing a heart.

And that, my friends, is a precious thing.

 

'Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.' ~ J. M. Barrie

The Secret of Great Relationships

It's my nature to be "others oriented". I'm happiest when I'm making someone else happy. It makes my day to put a smile on someone else's face. I live to love, and love to give.

Recently I forwarded "The 100/0 Principle" video by Simple Truths to a few close friends. The subtitle is "The Secret of Great Relationships"...something most people want to know. I found myself watching this video several times. I found it very inspiring, and shared it with people I care about. The 100/0 Principle is powerful. It is, simply stated, 'about giving without expecting anything in return. You take full responsibility for the relationship, expecting nothing in return. Step One: You demonstrate respect and kindness for the other person, whether they deserve it or not. Step Two: Do not expect anything in return. Zero, zip, nada. Step Three: Be persistent in your graciousness and kindness. Often, we give up too soon'.

The 100/0 paradox is stated thus: 'When you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well. Consequently, the 100/0 relationship quickly transforms into something approaching 100/100. when that occurs, true breakthroughs happen for the individuals, their teams, their organizations and their families.'

The video closes with this admonition: 'Remember, the 100/0 Principle is about giving, not taking. It's about the heart, not the head. It's about kindness, respect and patience. It's a little thing that makes a big difference. Be 100/0...it could change your life.'

Notice the line that says '...more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well'. More often than not...but not always. So what happens when the other person doesn't choose to take responsibility for their part in your relationship, and you find yourself giving, and giving, and giving, and giving, expecting... and receiving... nothing in return? Ever. If it's 'about the heart and not the head' what do you do when your heart is not taken care of, when you feels like it's slowly withering away?

What do you do when you have been persistent in your graciousness and kindness, giving without thought of receiving, demonstrating respect and kindness for the other person whether deserved or undeserved and they don't make the same choice, the breakthrough doesn't ever come, they never take responsibility for the relationship? How long is long enough to wait?

While it's true that no one person can meet our every need, and neither should we expect them to, let's face it~a one-sided relationship is not very fulfilling. A fulfilling relationship is a reciprocal relationship. Where there is no reciprocity, there is selfishness. Even our Heavenly Father, God, the originator of unconditional love, needs the love of His children. We are what He longed for, through the ages. We are those for whom He's planned "an eternal feast"...a banquet of never ending fellowship with Him throughout eternity.

While selfishness in an infant or small child is understandable until they become somewhat self-aware and begin to realize that a smile elicits a smile in return, a hug is rewarded with a hug, an "I love you" with an equally warm and satisfying "I love you, too", adults should be able to expect a slightly more evolved level of giving from one another. I'm talking about reciprocity.

Relationships. What would life be without them? Quite empty, I would imagine. I value my relationships highly. I work hard to maintain them. I have learned in recent years, however, that sometimes a given relationship~perhaps even one spanning years, in which untold amounts of giving have been invested~is simply not emotionally, mentally, physically or even spiritually profitable to maintain. Sometimes, giving consistently without receiving anything is return is like dying a slow, tortuous death. It can be incredibly draining to keep giving, investing "heart time" in a relationship year after year and receive nothing in return for your efforts.

Perhaps 'nothing' is overstating it. But there does come a point, I believe, when a person must evaluate their relationships and take an honest emotional inventory. Are your relationships satisfying? If not, have you done your utmost to be the "giver" and not the "taker"? If you can answer "yes" to the first question, wonderful. Maintain those relationships! Enjoy them, nurture them, thank God for them. If you answered "yes" to the second question but the other person has not chosen to take responsibility for the relationship and you are no longer satisfied with your one-dimensional, unreciprocated giving, well, then perhaps it's time to consider changing the dynamic... or ending the relationship altogether.

I am not saying it is an easy decision to end any relationship. It may be the hardest thing we are called upon to do. But, it is often the necessary thing. Sometimes there is no "good" choice, only the lesser of two evils. The proverbial "ripping off the Band-aid". Sometimes there are no easy answers, but you know in your giving heart that no matter how much you give to the other person, it will always be one-sided and you will be on the short end of the stick. And the day comes when you're just not willing to live there anymore.

While we can always choose to give, we cannot make someone else's choices for them. If you are in a relationship that drains you more than it sustains you, you must decide at some point if the effort required to maintain that relationship is worth it. Is it truly essential to your happiness or have you simply settled, and become accustomed to always being on the giving end? Unless you enjoy being a martyr, the solution is obvious. Seek out those reciprocal relationships that are mutually satisfying, where both parties are "givers" and therefore both are "receivers" as well.

I recently had a conversation with a friend who was, for the first time in his adult life, in a relationship with another "giver". He was enjoying being on the receiving end, an unfamiliar place for him. "It's almost funny" he said, "The way we try to one-up and out-give each other. She'll even try to anticipate something I'm going to do for her and then try to beat me to the punch; I love it! It makes me want to do more and more for her, because I know she appreciates it, and because she does so much for me. I'm not used to it, but I'm learning to enjoy it". Now that's reciprocity! That's how it should be.

I'm thankful to Simple Truths for their 100/0 Principle video. It made me take stock of the relationships in my life, and I'm glad to say that to my knowledge, all of my relationships are reciprocal to some degree. I have ended those that are not, those that do not feed my soul, those without true heart. It was not an easy task, in fact at times I thought I would never recover from the pain severing those relationships caused. But the "ripping off of the Band-aid" has allowed those festering wounds the fresh, clean air and light of day essential to healing.

Unless I resort to picking at them by looking through the rear view mirror of my life and asking endless "Did I do enough? Did I try hard enough? Did I love big enough? Did I give up too soon? Was I too unforgiving? Too hard to please?" questions, I know that as I put the past firmly behind me, the scars will fade away until they are indistinguishable, replaced with the healthy tissue of loving, caring, reciprocal, 100/100 relationships.

I wish the same for you. To view the 100/0 Principle video, click here: https://news.simpletruths.com/servlet/cc6?kpuitLQSDBUQTVJoLjLtPggxnuHptQJhuVaVR

God bless you.
--
'Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.' ~ J. M. Barrie

A funny thing happened on the way to see Santa...

Once upon a time, in a town in the mid South, a little boy got in trouble at Mother's Day Out.  It was all innocent enough, and the little boy didn't do anything wrong on purpose.  In fact, in his mind and the mind of his parents, he didn't do anything wrong at all.  The little boy spoke the truth as he knew it, just as he had been raised to do.

One day on the playground, close to this time of year, he had a conversation with another child about Christmas.  It led, inevitably I suppose, to a discussion about one of the central figures of the holiday season, Santa Claus.  The little boy simply told his playmate what he learned from his parents when inquiring about the true identity of the bringer of Christmas gifts.  He was to say some dozen or so years later "I thought we were all on the same page!  I didn't realize it was such a controversial subject".

The little boy's parents had recently explained to him that although Santa Claus was a wonderful concept, and a fun part of the holiday season, he was not an actual person who would appear mysteriously on Christmas Eve atop their house, shimmy down the chimney and deposit presents under the family tree.  Nor would he be the one to devour the milk and cookies placed on a pretty tray atop the hearth. 

On that fateful day, the little boy shared with his playground companion that his parents were the ones who listened carefully to their son's wishes for which presents he would like to open on Christmas morning, diligently made lists, and did their best to purchase, one by one, each thing on the list...or at least a goodly portion of them.  He didn't know how his mother kept the location of the presents a secret until Christmas morning, but he knew that once he was fast asleep on Christmas Eve, his parents quietly removed each lovely gift from its hiding place and lovingly placed them under the tree for him to discover ~ and gleefully rip open ~ on Christmas morning.

Well, this information didn't go over very well with the other child, nor, when she learned of it, with the little boy's teacher.  She reproved the little boy for telling his friend that Santa was not the deliverer of presents to all good little boys and girls obediently in their beds fast asleep on Christmas Eve.  She told the little boy that lots and lots of children fervently believed in the existence of Santa Claus, and looked forward with great anticipation to his arrival at their homes every December 24th.

Not wishing to upset the other children or his teacher, and ever the diplomat, the little boy pondered this information and what to do next.  He trusted his parents' version of events, knowing they would not lie to him about something so very important, but he had also been taught to respect his elders and not contradict people like his teacher.  What to do?  After much thought, he developed what he believed to be a satisfactory answer to the question regarding the existence or nonexistence of Mr. Claus.

"Um, excuse me?" he said in his sweet, 4 year old voice, raising a tentative hand as the children gathered around the teacher on the carpeted classroom floor, ready for their afternoon story time.   "Yes?" she replied somewhat warily, wondering what new revelation the little boy was about to reveal, "What is it, dear?"

"Well," he said confidently, "I've thought about it, and all I can say about Santa Claus is that I'm not sure who takes care of things in your neighborhoods, but at my house it's my parents who put the gifts under the tree."  He sat back confident he had not compromised his beliefs and certain he had left room in each child's heart, and that of his teacher, to firmly hold on to their own.

Atta boy!

Thankfulness

I suppose it's only natural to be thinking along thankfulness lines at this time of year.  I love the fact that we live in a country that has set aside at least one day a year for being thankful.  It comes at a good time, I believe, considering Christmas is the next holiday.  When I think of all I am thankful for, material goods are not what comes to mind.  Like most of us, I could always use a nicer this or a newer that, and I am thankful for the things I have, but the true, deeper thoughts of thankfulness revolve around relationships. 

When I think of the love and support I receive from the close relationships I have with others, I become extrememly thankful.  It helps me keep things in perspective when shopping for Christmas gifts.  I tend to look for something that will express my thankfulness for what those close to me have given throughout the year.  I look for that thing that demonstrates in a tangible way the often intangible gifts they've given me. 

This past weekend I found a beautiful, soft, colorful and warm winter scarf that made me think of someone near and dear.  I bought it for her because to me it represented her soft, warm, beautiful heart, and I could picture her smiling as she wrapped it around her neck to stay warm this winter.  The thought made me smile.  I knew it would look beautiful on her, that it would meet a need, and be both practical and pleasing.  It wasn't expensive, it wasn't couture, but I knew she would love it, and that's all that mattered.

I used to think the more I cared for someone the more I needed to spend on them to prove my love.  I've grown up since then.  It's not the volume of presents under the tree that matters.  It's the abundance of love and thankfulness with which they are given that will touch the hearts of those we love. 

I remember many a Christmas morning as a child looking for the tinfoil-covered shoebox that meant Grandma had once again made her special holiday fudge.  That was always the box I opened first, happily indulging in the rich, nut-laden homemade goodness as all the other presents were passed around and opened eagerly.  To be honest, I can't remember a single gift I received in my childhood that meant as much as Grandma's fudge.  I'm sure I received many wonderful things ~ toys, books, new clothes, dolls, etc. ~ but I don't remember them.  I do, however, remember Grandma's tin foiled box of love. 

If you worry over the amount of money you have to spend on gifts this year, if you are concerned it's not enough, the presents won't be fancy enough or there won't be enough of them under the tree...don't.  Just do what you can to show those you love how thankful you are for them.  Make a card that expresses your joy at having them in your life.  Bake a batch of cookies or homemade fudge.  Draw a picture, write a poem, or give a "coupon" for a task or service you will provide free of charge.  Write a note or letter and simply tell someone how they have influenced your life in a positive way.

Remember, it isn't the dollar amount you spend that matters, it isn't the name on the label or the expertise with which it is assembled.  It's the amount of heart you put in to whatever you give that shows how much you care.  Do it now, this year.  Don't wait to tell someone you love how thankful you are for their life.  It just might be the best gift you could possibly give.

God bless you ~ cpwritergirl

Maumelle Writers Conference 11/7/09

Last Saturday I spent the best $25 I can remember.  I attended my first writers conference, and got so much more than my money's worth!  This particular conference was presented by the Maumelle Arts Council.  I wasn't sure what to expect, never having been to such an event.  I assumed I would meet other writers, glean a few tips on how to improve my writing skills and perhaps, if things went as I hoped, learn a little more about the steps necessary to move me further along the path toward a full time career as an author. 

Which caused me to wonder, what do I call myself and does it really matter?  Author or writer, what's the difference?  When in doubt or in need of clarification, I rely on good old Mr. Webster (or nowadays, Dictionary.com) to help me out:

Author–noun 1. a person who writes a novel, poem, essay, etc.; the composer of a literary work, as distinguished from a compiler, translator, editor, or copyist.
2. the literary production or productions of a writer: to find a passage in an author.
3. the maker of anything; creator; originator

Writer-–noun 1. a person engaged in writing books, articles, stories, etc., esp. as an occupation or profession; an author or journalist.
2. a clerk, scribe, or the like.
3. a person who commits his or her thoughts, ideas, etc., to writing: an expert letter writer.
4. (in a piece of writing) the author (used as a circumlocution for “I,” “me,” “my,” etc.): The writer wishes to state….
5. a person who writes or is able to write

Hmmm, sound pretty interchangeable, don't they?  This is one of those debates that can rage on endlessly and never, in my opinion, change a thing.  You may call me a writer, author, storyteller, poet, journalist or scribe...it doesn't matter to me as long as I have the freedom to express myself in words of my own choosing.

 

Now, back to the conference!  From the moment the first keynote speaker, Ms. Darla Haas, began talking about inspirational writing I knew I was in for a treat.  I  recently discovered this to be the path the majority of my writing takes, and was eager to hear what she had to say.     

 

Ms. Haas, a wonderfully engaging speaker, shared that one of the definitions of  "inspire" is to suggest, to be the motivating but unnamed power behind.  I realized that to be the force behind another's direction, the reason they change something in their lives that ultimately makes them a better person, brings them more joy, more success, more fulfillment, is the heart with which I write.  Be it a poem, children's story, blog entry or romance novel, I find I am passionate about motivating others to be their best.

 

Whether my words are credited with that person's life-changing shift in direction is of no consequence -- hence the "unnamed power behind" part of the definition.  I just want to share something from my heart or life experiences that benefits another person in some way, whether it be to follow my example or run in the opposite direction.  I love the Catherine Aird quote "If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning".  Either way, my life and words can have an effect.  I took copious notes, and knew within that first few minutes that I would come away with much more than I expected. 

Prolific novelist Laura Parker Castoro was our second keynote speaker.  Gregarious, bubbly, funny and passionate about writing, she shared practical, clear cut instruction on what I call the "nuts and bolts" of building a good story, urging us to give the reader 'a clear place to hang their emotional hat'. 

 

Workshops on various topics ranging from Writing 101 to the How and Why of Winning Poems and ABC's of Scene Writing were available throughout the day, coordinated by various local writers (or authors, if you prefer).  Unfortunately I wasn't able to attend every one, but gained valuable information from those I did attend. 

 

One of the highlights of the day for me had to be the impromptu, one-on-one conversation I had with Ms. Castoro after the author panel discussion.  The fact that she took time to brainstorm story elements--attitudes and possible motivation of various characters, internal and external conflict, expectations, actions and problem resolution--was invaluable to me, and I am forever in her debt.  If you haven't checked her out yet, you should definitely visit http://www.lauracastoro.com/.

 

All in all it was a wonderful day, a Saturday well spent on the way to fulfilling my dream of becoming a full time writer.  I look forward to my next conference with great anticipation, and recommend the experience to anyone wishing to further their writing career.

 

God bless you, and keep writing! ~ cpwritergirl

What we leave behind

When traveling, it's been said that what we bring along is not as important as what we leave behind; new friends, new memories and hopefully a trail of goodwill for people to follow. We all only get one chance to make a good first impression, and we may never know how our words or actions affect others.  I recently returned from a trip and I did indeed make new friends whom I now pray for and to whom I send uplifting text messages, because it makes us both feel good and serves to remind me of how universal the love of God is, and how miles cannot sever that bond.  I had the privilege of spending time this weekend with one of those friends, and I know we will remain friends for the rest of our lives.  That is a precious gift. 

I am endeavoring to manifest the love God has shown me to others, even those who have hurt me. Unkind or unthinking words can do great and sometimes lating damage if we aren't diligent to control our thoughts and conversations. True, it isn't always easy to repay evil or insults with blessing, but that is what I Peter 3:9-12 exhorts us to do: 'For whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and keep his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good, he must seek peace and pursue it.' 

Seek peace, and pursue it...that takes work. When we are hurt our instinct is to react in anger and self defense, to either withdraw or to lash out at the one who hurt us to let them know how wrong they were, or how hurt we are. But if we take a moment to take a deep breath and think before we react, realizing that 'hurting people hurt people', we may see that the person who hurt us is not being intentionally hurtful, just human. Knowing that, it's easier to control our response and avoid perpetuating a cycle of hurt by responding poorly. Ann Landers said maturity is the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.  I think that's a great definition.

Here a few more quotes worth remembering:

"Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be." —Grandma Moses

“It's never too late... never too late to start over, never too late to be happy.” —Jane Fonda

"I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances." —Martha Washington

 

"Your own words are the bricks and mortar

of the dreams you want to realize.

Your words are the greatest power you have.

The words you choose and their use establish the life you experience." —Sonia Croquette

Sandia Peak Tram, Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta 2009 and Santa Fe, New Mexico

At the beginning of the month my son, a friend and I flew to Albuquerque, New Mexico to attend the 38th annual Hot Air Balloon Fiesta.  We stayed with friends and had a wonderful time, making memories and forming bonds that will last a lifetime.  On our first full day in Albuquerque we decided to take the tram up to the top of Sandia Peak, over 10,000 feet up!  The weather was perfect; cerulean skies with a few scattered clouds, a slight breeze and moderate temperatures.  The mountain appeared brown and barren when viewed from its base, but we soon discovered that to be an illusion, spying greenery soon after embarking on our ride heavenward.  Trees, shrubs and even flowers could be seen at various points along our route.  Although we weren't fortunate enough to see any bear or deer, we did enjoy some awe inspiring vistas.

Our cable car was packed full of tourists on their way to the top of the world's longest aerial tramway, built by a Swiss engineering firm which stated it was their most challenging aerial tram project.  The 15 minute ride seemed longer on the way up, but shorter on the way down.  Why is that?  It seems that way whenever I take a trip somewhere, no matter what mode of travel I use.  The drive to grandma's house at Christmas, for instance, always seems longer than the drive home!  But, I digress.  Back to New Mexico...

We had a perfect day for picture taking, and my friend DeeDee enthusiastically snapped shots of the scenery and our little group as we traveled up to the top of Sandia Peak.  Once there, the wind was considerably more than a light breeze, and the temperature a bit cooler than on the ground.  I was very thankful I'd worn a jacket.  The view was spectacular.  Not only did the city of Albuquerque lay spread out at our feet, but we could see for miles and miles in all directions, and it was breathtaking.

Our guide informed us that at one point back in time, all we observed had been under water.  I took a moment to reflect on that, marveling at God's handiwork evident in the landscape stretching out before me.  Mountains and valleys, rocks and cliffs were once the bottom of the ocean floor.  I could picture it.  We toured the facility at the summit, walked to where we could observe the now dormant ski lifts, patiently waiting for the season's first good snowfall to once more ferry hardy skiers to the top of the runs on the other side of the mountain.

On our way back down we were surprised to see two young men -- workers at the High Finance restaurant perched atop the mountain -- climb onto the top of our cable car and clip themselves to the frame.  I looked up through the clear plexiglass window in the ceiling and marveled at how nonchalantly one of the young men stood, one hand in a jean pocket, the other holding a cigarette as he chatted with his buddy.  What a unique perspective he must have, I thought to myself.  To be up there on top, the sun and wind in his face as we rode back down to the foot of the mountain.  He seemed to enjoy his perch, yet took the whole thing in stride, not the least bit ruffled except by the wind.

The next day it was Fiesta time!  Opening day started early, with our group on the road before the sun came up.  The city lights winked an early morning greeting as we drove toward the Fiesta grounds, dressed warmly for the pre-dawn chill, coffee mugs in hand.  A friend and food stand operator secured us a special parking pass, something for which we were extremely grateful.  Our pass enabled us to bypass hundreds, perhaps even thousands of parked cars, traveling past barriers to the closest possible parking spots. 

The day's first event was Dawn Patrol, where the balloons are lit up against the night sky as pilots slowly rise, wind and weather permitting, into the still-dark sky.  We met a young man from the Czech Republic, Timothy, who was touring our country.  This young man had an in depth conversation with my son as we watched the balloons prepare for takeoff.  He remarked that he was surprised and a little confused when his plane landed in our nation's capital and he observed people protesting. 

"What do people have to protest about in America?" he inquired.  "In my country we have no choice, no say in what our government does.  I would be so thankful to have the freedoms and liberties you enjoy, if they were available to me."  It was humbling to hear this young man's perspective of how great our nation is, and be reminded of how blessed we are to enjoy her bounty, and the freedom some take for granted, of which others can only dream.

We said goodbye and God bless to Timothy after he politely declined an invitation to join our group, and went in search of the man who supplied us with our VIP parking pass.  We found him at his food stand, and were further treated to complimentary breakfast burritos~a staple of the morning Fiesta crowd.  I highly recommend them! 

Thus fortified, we toured a few of the vendor tents, offering everything from tee shirts and hats to glow in the dark balloon shaped necklaces, then paused to watch a local TV weatherman deliver the day's forecast, resplendent in a multicolored outfit complete with tophat covered in vintage souvenir Fiesta pins.  Youngsters ate cotton candy while teenagers chatted on the ever-present cell phones and parents diligently tried to keep their young ones at arm's length.  Not an easy task when balloons of all shapes and sizes were being stretched out on the ground and inflated, preparing for the mass ascension.

We were awed by the color, the creativity, and the spectacle of balloon Fiesta.  There were owls and pigs, witches and carousels, bumble bees and a gigantic milk cow.  Pink pigs even flew that day!  Everywhere I turned there was another beautiful balloon taking shape against the azure sky.  I took over 200 pictures that morning, and still didn't get every one I wanted.  When the balloons began to ascend into the beautiful Albuquerque sky, the sight was unlike any I'd ever witnessed.  550 hot air balloons filled our vision as one by one they rose, cheered on by those of us on the ground, whether we had anything to do with helping them launch or not.  There was an undeniable feeling of community amongst Fiesta goers, strangers united by their enjoyment of a shared event.

Later that evening we returned for the fireworks show, another wonderfully colorful and exciting part of Fiesta.  We munched on more "Fiesta food" courtesy of our friend as we watched the multicolored display.  I wish I could have stayed for the entire event, but time did not allow.  I feel as though we made the most of our day there, however.  We ended the night dancing until our feet hurt to the wonderfully nostalgic sound of a disco band called Funkytown, decked out in platform boots, miniskirts, polyester pants, fur vests, oversized jewelry and sunglasses, boas and huge blond afro wigs.  It was the most fun I've had in ages. 

We also took a day and did a whirlwind tour of beautiful Santa Fe, New Mexico, the state capital.  Beginning with the Georgia O'Keefe museum and ending on Canyon Road we enjoyed the sights, sounds, aromas, views, and art that is uniquely Santa Fe.  All in all it was a wonderful, if far too short, visit with friends to a beautiful part of the country I have a feeling I will get to know better.  This was the first trip my son and I have taken together, and the first plane ride he can remember.  We had a great time hanging out, and I saw afresh what a cool kid I have.  Our hosts were wonderful, my friend DeeDee and I got to know one another much better, and we both came away with warm memories of our time in New Mexico.

Maybe it really IS me...

"It's not you, it's me." 

Why do we say that?  Most of us have made that statment in an effort to spare someone else's feelings in an awkward situation, when in our hearts we believe just the opposite.  But...do we ever stop and ask ourselves if maybe, just maybe, it's really true?

The argument that should never have started, the reason a project isn't going smoothly, the friendship that is suddenly strained, the floundering relationship.  We find any number of ways to justify placing blame elsewhere, convinced we've done our best to make the discussion, project or relationship a success, therefore its failure must be laid at the feet of the other person or persons involved.  It's uncomfortable to think the fault may actually lie with us.

I believe the capacity for self-reflection is a wonderful God-given ability that can spur us toward self-improvement, and stoke the fire of desire to improve not just ourselves, but the lives of those around us by becoming better, more giving (and forgiving) individuals.  God created man in his own image, and God is love.  God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.  As His children we have the same light within us, the same capacity to love and forgive, whether it is another who needs forgiveness, or ourselves we must forgive. 

Animals don't contemplate their actions and the effect they have on other animals.  They don't ponder how they can be better siblings, children, parents, mates or members of their society.  The squirrel has no conscience that nags him at night as he curls up to sleep amdist nuts he may have filched from another squirrel's stash.  To mankind alone was the gift of conscience given.  God knew what He was doing when He put us together.  Psalm 139:14 says "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."

Conscience and introspection--contemplation of one's own thoughts, desires and conduct--are valuable tools when undertaking the task of self-improvement.  When we think about what we are thinking about (as mentioned in an earlier post) and get honest with ourselves, taking stock of our thoughts, desires and conduct, it can be an illuminating experience.  It can be the beginning of change for the better.  It can be the first step toward growth.

David says in Psalm 94:19 "In the multitude of my thoughts within me, thy comforts delight my soul".  His thoughts at this time were anxious ones, but God's comforts were delightful to his soul.  Perhaps you are also troubled by anxious thoughts.  Perhaps you are wondering if you have been upset with someone over some perceived wrong, when at least some of the blame could be laid at your own feet.  Perhaps you are contemplating areas of your life that need improvement, but you don't have a clue where or how to start.  Perhaps the thought of self-improvement seems overwhelming.

Take comfort in the knowledge that you have the ability to change.  It starts with a decision, with the acknowledgement that sometimes "It's not you, it's me" is, in fact, the truth.  Free will may be the greatest gift ever given to man by God.  You can do whatever you choose to do, change whatever you choose to change, and achieve whatever you believe to achieve. 

 

Phil. 4:13 Amplified Version:  I have strength for all things in Christ who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency].

So take heart my friend, and be comforted even if you suddenly see "Oh, my gosh...it IS me!"  It's never too late to change, to start over, to repair a breach, heal a hurt, or forgive.  Even yourself.  It starts with a free will decision.  One day at a time. 

'We never know how high we are, Till we are called to rise; And then, if we are true to plan, Our statures touch the skies." -- Emily Dickinson

God bless you ~ cpwritergirl