I read something very motivating today. In an article titled the "Top Five Regrets of The Dying" author Bronnie Ware (who worked in palliative care for years) stated 'People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again.' Listed below are the five most common regrets:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Source: http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html
Ware noted many people didn't realize until the end of their lives that happiness is a choice, but had 'stayed stuck in old patterns and habits'. 'The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content.'
The fear of change kept these men and women from achieving true happiness. The desire to live up to the expectations of others rather than fulfill their own hearts' desires led to the number one deathbed regret. When it was too late to do anything about it. When the time for pursuing dreams had passed. Their dreams never became reality because they were too afraid to let themselves be happy, being more concerned with what others thought. How very sad.
We cannot control what others think of us, and we should not let their opinions determine our actions. No one else is going to pursue your dreams for you. It's up to you. You may not have control over your every circumstance, but as an extremely insightful friend of mine stated recently, we have more control than we realize. In her post "Focus on What You Can Control", Jacey Verdicchio states:
We will never be able to control everyone and everything around us, and we don't need to. We have control of one thing at all times - our minds. We don't have to wait for our families, friends, employer, government, and economy to change. If we take hold of this most valuable tool, we can diminish the effects of the uncontrollable aspects of our lives.
Source: http://jaceyverdicchio.com/my-full-thoughts/focus-on-what-you-can-control/
Are you living your life simply pretending to be content, secretly afraid to change because you fear what your friends and family will think if you do? Are you letting their opinions determine your thoughts and therefore your actions? Are your decisions based on their approval or disapproval? Don't let your dreams wait until it's too late. Don't wait until you're too tired to pursue them to give yourself permission to do so.
Make the choices that will make YOU happy. I would like to echo wholeheartedly the words used at the end of Ware's article, and urge you not to underestimate your own capacity for growth, and not to wait until your deathbed to follow this sound advice:
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
God bless you
