Saturday, December 25, 2010

The True Story of Rudolph

A man named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, stared out his drafty apartment window into the chilling December night. His 4-year-old daughter Barbara sat on his lap quietly sobbing. Bob's wife, Evelyn, was dying of cancer. Little Barbara couldn't understand why hermommy could never come home. Barbara looked up into her dad's eyes and asked, "Why isn't Mommy just like everybody else's Mommy?"

Bob's jaw tightened and his eyes welled with tears. Her question brought waves of grief, but also of anger. It had been the story of Bob's life. Life always had to be different for Bob. Small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys. He was too little at the time to compete in sports. He was often called names he'd rather not remember. From childhood, Bob was different and never seemed to fit in. Bob did complete college, married his loving wife and was grateful to get his job as a copywriter at Montgomery Ward during the Great Depression. Then he was blessed with his little girl.

But it was all short-lived. Evelyn's bout with cancer stripped them of all their savings and now Bob and his daughter were forced to live in a two-room apartment in the Chicago slums. Evelyn died just days before Christmas in 1938. Bob struggled to give hope to his child, for whom he couldn't even afford to buy a Christmas gift. But if he couldn't buy a gift, he was determined to make one, it was a storybook! Bob had created an animal character in his own mind and told the animal's story to little Barbara to give her comfort and hope.Again and again Bob told the story, embellishing it more with each telling.

Who was the character? What was the story all about? The story Bob May created was his own autobiography in fable form. The character he created was a misfit outcast like he was. The name of the character? A little reindeer named Rudolph, with a big shiny nose. Bob finished the book just in time to give it to his little girl on Christmas Day. But the story doesn't end there. The general manager of Montgomery Ward caught wind of the little storybook and offered Bob May a nominal fee to purchase the rights to print the book.

Wards went on to print, Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer and distribute it to children visiting Santa Claus in their stores. By 1946 Wards had printed and distributed more than six million copies of Rudolph . That same year, a major publisher wanted to purchase the rights from Wards to print an updated version of the book. In an unprecedented gesture of kindness, the CEO of Wards returned all rights back to Bob May. The book became a best seller. Many toy and marketing deals followed and Bob May, now remarried with a growing family, became wealthy from the story he created to comfort his grieving daughter.

But the story doesn't end there either. Bob's brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, made a song adaptation to Rudolph. Though the song was turned down by such popular vocalists as Bing Crosby and Dinah Shore , it was recorded by the singing cowboy, Gene Autry. "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer" was released in 1949 and became a phenomenal success, selling more records than any other Christmas song, with the exception of "White Christmas." The gift of love that Bob May created for his daughter so long ago kept on returning back to bless him again and again. And Bob May learned the lesson, just like his dear friend Rudolph, that being different isn't so bad. In fact, being different can be a blessing.

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2010 And as Paul Harvey would say: "NOW YOU KNOW THE REST OF THE STORY"

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Right turn, Clyde!

This topic has been on my mind a lot lately, and I wanted to share something with you. There is life after tragedy! We have all been hurt, some of us even devastated, by the actions of another. Maybe more than once. But, as God clearly shows us in Job, there is life after tragedy, and it can be a good life...perhaps even better than ever before... if we keep our hearts tender. Not that we should leave ourselves open to continued hurt or abuse from the one(s) who have hurt or taken advantage of us, but we CAN forgive them because many times...they "know not what they do".

Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. Many times those who have hurt us are not even aware of the effect they've had, and are certainly not walking around wondering if we have forgiven them. Most people do not set out intentionally to hurt someone else. Yes, there are those who do, but for the most part people are basically good. Clueless, maybe, but not intentionally hurtful. Think about this...if Jesus Christ could forgive those who DID intentionally set out to crucify him and end his life and ministry, asking God to forgive them "for they know not what they do" how can we hold on to anger and unforgiveness toward someone who has hurt us, and say that we are endeavoring to follow Christ's example?

I've been wondering, how do I detect unforgiveness in my life? How do I know if I've truly forgiven someone? What are the telltale signs of unforgiveness? What is the magic formula for making sure I'm not holding on to anger and allowing bitterness to take root in my heart? Where are the mental checkpoints? Well, you may have guessed that there is no "magic" formula. But there is a simple solution. It's not easy at first, but it gets easier with practice. Like driving a car. 

Making a safe right turn in a moving vehicle is a gradual process involving a series of deliberate actions. You see the landmark ahead, decide you're going to turn when you get there, and you take your foot off the gas. As you approach the break in the road you turn on your signal, establishing your intention to change direction. When you arrive at the turning point, you apply the brakes to adjust your speed in order to negotiate the turn safely, turn the steering wheel of your vehicle in the direction you wish to go, and complete your turn. It is a process that starts with making a decision.

The same principles can be applied to forgiveness. When tempted to remember the actions involved or perhaps the words spoken that cut to the bone, I can simply make the decision to begin the process of making a mental "right turn" and get off that road. That means I must take my foot off the gas and refuse to travel any further. I must bring to mind a scripture that will be my landmark to a new road, perhaps Ephesians 4:32, which says 'Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you'. Dwelling on what caused the pain will not change anything. Talking about it won't change it. Wishing it didn't happen, or that I had behaved differently when it did, won't change it. What's done is done, and it doesn't profit anyone (especially ME!) to relive the painful details. I must make the decision to stop my "mental vehicle" from traveling further down a negative road.  I am the driver, and I must decide to turn my thoughts in a positive direction. It's my decision, no one else can steer my thoughts for me, and magic is not involved.

As I steer my thoughts toward those that Father would have me think, dwelling on something good or positive about a person or persons who have caused me hurt, that first thought will be like turning the steering wheel. Maybe I can't summon a positive thought about the people involved, but I can remember what God has forgiven ME for, and choose to put on the mind of Christ as I direct my mental vehicle. When a bad memory pops up on my mental GPS, I can turn the wheel to avoid that pothole. As I begin traveling down the highway I can stay within the lane markings clearly laid out for me in God's Word. 

Remember the old Clint Eastwood movie "Every Which Way But Loose"? Clint had an unusual front seat passenger who often traveled with him in his vehicle, an orangutan named Clyde. At one point in the movie a "bad guy" positioned to the right of them as they were stopped on a road was taunting Clint's character. He devised an effective solution to solve that problem which involved utilizing the unique talents of his traveling companion. He took control of the situation by saying "Right turn, Clyde" and a very effective knock out punch was delivered to the bad guy.

You may be thinking "But, it's just me! I don't have a partner in life, there's no one in the passenger seat to deliver that knockout punch! I don't have a 'Clyde'!" Ah, but you do, if you have confessed Jesus Christ as your lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead as the Bible tells us in Roman 10:9&10. If you have done this, Colossians 1:27 declares that you have Christ in you the hope of glory!  That means you are never alone. You are a fellow worker with God, who has promised to never leave you and never forsake you. You have the gift of holy spirit and all of it's manifestations available to you, 24/7/365/eternally! You have the tools you need. You just need to use them. It's your decision, it's your vehicle, and you choose the road you travel.

You may have suffered hurt, even tragedy in your life. But there is a healer of broken hearts. He'll mend your shattered dreams. He'll pick up the threads of your broken heart and weave them together again. To your soul he'll bring peace and joy, and your friend, indeed, he'll be. Jesus Christ endured all the pain necessary to bring us healing from any and all pain we have suffered. If you will keep your mind on things above, put on the mind of Christ, keep your heart tender and become like a little child, let go of past hurt, get it off your mind, forget it, move forward and enjoy the life you have left, you will deliver a knockout punch of forgiveness to the "bad guy" that would make Clint (and Clyde) proud!

God's Word, when it's followed, allows us to live a simple, beautiful, enjoyable life. Decide to "make a right turn" today, and begin the process of forgiveness. There's simply no better gift you could give yourself.

God bless you


'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.' ~ Maya Angelou


Sunday, September 26, 2010

I was meant to be free..

This is about my vision for my life. A vision statement is a vivid description of a desired outcome that inspires, energizes and helps you paint a mental picture of your target. The other day I wrote out some "Vision Thoughts" for myself. Call them affirmations, declarations, dreams, whatever you will. I suppose this qualifies as my 'vision statement'. I'm sure it will be refined over time, but for now these are the thoughts that inspire, energize, and motivate me to build a better life for myself and those I love. Perhaps you can relate to one or two of these thoughts. The vision thoughts (or statements) are written bolder and larger for a reason.

And then God answered: "Write this. Write what you see. Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run. This vision-message is a witness pointing to what's coming. It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait! And it doesn't lie. If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab. 2:2,3 The Message


I was not meant to sit behind a desk!

I was meant to be free to move, and I'm moving toward that vision.

I was not meant to toil at tasks menial and tedious, depressing and rote, mindless and numbing!

I was meant to be free to push my mind in new and fresh directions, seeking innovative and unique methods.

I was not meant to punch a time clock every day!

I was meant to be free to start my day spending as much time as my spirit needs, talking with my Father.

I was not meant to be enslaved to an 8, 9, 10 or more hour workday, day after day after endless day!

I was meant to be free to spend as much time as necessary with my children, to show my love for them.


I was not meant to stop dreaming!

I was meant to be free to dream big, giant dreams, Technicolor 3D dreams, and watch them come true.

I was not meant to live in a pale, pastel world devoid of color and vibrancy!

I was meant to live with passion, color, vibrancy and joy~I was meant to live a life of purpose.

I was not meant to live a life solely concerned with myself and my circumstances!

I was born again to serve; meant to live a life of helping others rise to their true potential and be all that God has called them to be, enjoying the blessings obtained by helping others, as well.

 
I AM DETERMINED TO LIVE THE LIFE I WAS MEANT TO LIVE!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The Power of a Note

How often do we think "thank you" in our heads but neglect to come out and say it, much less take the time to actually sit down and write a note?

Recently, I penned a short thank you note to someone who did something nice for my daughter and I. Honestly, I can't even remember my exact words, but they came from the heart. I received this communication the other day, weeks after sending the short thank you note. While in a business meeting, she received my note. Her reaction to my few short lines was unexpected and heartwarming.

'Hi! Oh, my goodness, that was so sweet of you! Tears came to my eyes when I read it. I have saved it in my "treasure box" with other communications from friends and family that I have received over the years.'

I'd forgotten about the note soon after sending it, and had to think a moment to mentally identify what this lady was referring to. Since she mentioned putting it in a treasure box, I knew it wasn't an email. When I recalled writing the note and the reason behind it, it warmed my heart that such a small thing to me should have such an impact on her life. To think that she placed such great value on a few words of thanks from a mere acquaintance really touched me. For anything I do, say or write to be treasured and kept close to someone else's heart is a wonderful gift.

I was reminded how important it is to guard our words, as well as how valuable and impactful a simple "thank you" can be when it comes from the heart. And a note in particular, something a person can hold in their hand, read and re-read at will, is extra special. In this day of texting, emailing and instant messaging to take the time to actually hand write a note says you put a little extra time and thought into that particular "thank you".

Has someone done something nice for you lately? If so, have you thanked them? From the heart? In writing? Take a moment and ask yourself to whom you need to say "thank you" today...and write them a note. It could change their day, perhaps even their life, in a positive way. It could start a wonderful, thankful chain reaction. It could end up in a box of treasures, resting there for years to come, pulled out lovingly from time to time, held in thankful hands, re-read, causing a smile, and blessing a heart.

And that, my friends, is a precious thing.

 
'Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.' ~ J. M. Barrie

Thursday, August 26, 2010

The Secret of Great Relationships

It's my nature to be "others oriented". I'm happiest when I'm making someone else happy. It makes my day to put a smile on someone else's face. I live to love, and love to give.

Recently I forwarded "The 100/0 Principle" video by Simple Truths to a few close friends. The subtitle is "The Secret of Great Relationships"...something most people want to know. I found myself watching this video several times. I found it very inspiring, and shared it with people I care about. The 100/0 Principle is powerful. It is, simply stated, 'about giving without expecting anything in return. You take full responsibility for the relationship, expecting nothing in return. Step One: You demonstrate respect and kindness for the other person, whether they deserve it or not. Step Two: Do not expect anything in return. Zero, zip, nada. Step Three: Be persistent in your graciousness and kindness. Often, we give up too soon'.

The 100/0 paradox is stated thus: 'When you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well. Consequently, the 100/0 relationship quickly transforms into something approaching 100/100. when that occurs, true breakthroughs happen for the individuals, their teams, their organizations and their families.'

The video closes with this admonition: 'Remember, the 100/0 Principle is about giving, not taking. It's about the heart, not the head. It's about kindness, respect and patience. It's a little thing that makes a big difference. Be 100/0...it could change your life.'

Notice the line that says '...more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well'. More often than not...but not always. So what happens when the other person doesn't choose to take responsibility for their part in your relationship, and you find yourself giving, and giving, and giving, and giving, expecting... and receiving... nothing in return? Ever. If it's 'about the heart and not the head' what do you do when your heart is not taken care of, when you feels like it's slowly withering away?

What do you do when you have been persistent in your graciousness and kindness, giving without thought of receiving, demonstrating respect and kindness for the other person whether deserved or undeserved and they don't make the same choice, the breakthrough doesn't ever come, they never take responsibility for the relationship? How long is long enough to wait?

While it's true that no one person can meet our every need, and neither should we expect them to, let's face it~a one-sided relationship is not very fulfilling. A fulfilling relationship is a reciprocal relationship. Where there is no reciprocity, there is selfishness. Even our Heavenly Father, God, the originator of unconditional love, needs the love of His children. We are what He longed for, through the ages. We are those for whom He's planned "an eternal feast"...a banquet of never ending fellowship with Him throughout eternity.

While selfishness in an infant or small child is understandable until they become somewhat self-aware and begin to realize that a smile elicits a smile in return, a hug is rewarded with a hug, an "I love you" with an equally warm and satisfying "I love you, too", adults should be able to expect a slightly more evolved level of giving from one another. I'm talking about reciprocity.

Relationships. What would life be without them? Quite empty, I would imagine. I value my relationships highly. I work hard to maintain them. I have learned in recent years, however, that sometimes a given relationship~perhaps even one spanning years, in which untold amounts of giving have been invested~is simply not emotionally, mentally, physically or even spiritually profitable to maintain. Sometimes, giving consistently without receiving anything is return is like dying a slow, tortuous death. It can be incredibly draining to keep giving, investing "heart time" in a relationship year after year and receive nothing in return for your efforts.

Perhaps 'nothing' is overstating it. But there does come a point, I believe, when a person must evaluate their relationships and take an honest emotional inventory. Are your relationships satisfying? If not, have you done your utmost to be the "giver" and not the "taker"? If you can answer "yes" to the first question, wonderful. Maintain those relationships! Enjoy them, nurture them, thank God for them. If you answered "yes" to the second question but the other person has not chosen to take responsibility for the relationship and you are no longer satisfied with your one-dimensional, unreciprocated giving, well, then perhaps it's time to consider changing the dynamic... or ending the relationship altogether.

I am not saying it is an easy decision to end any relationship. It may be the hardest thing we are called upon to do. But, it is often the necessary thing. Sometimes there is no "good" choice, only the lesser of two evils. The proverbial "ripping off the Band-aid". Sometimes there are no easy answers, but you know in your giving heart that no matter how much you give to the other person, it will always be one-sided and you will be on the short end of the stick. And the day comes when you're just not willing to live there anymore.

While we can always choose to give, we cannot make someone else's choices for them. If you are in a relationship that drains you more than it sustains you, you must decide at some point if the effort required to maintain that relationship is worth it. Is it truly essential to your happiness or have you simply settled, and become accustomed to always being on the giving end? Unless you enjoy being a martyr, the solution is obvious. Seek out those reciprocal relationships that are mutually satisfying, where both parties are "givers" and therefore both are "receivers" as well.

I recently had a conversation with a friend who was, for the first time in his adult life, in a relationship with another "giver". He was enjoying being on the receiving end, an unfamiliar place for him. "It's almost funny" he said, "The way we try to one-up and out-give each other. She'll even try to anticipate something I'm going to do for her and then try to beat me to the punch; I love it! It makes me want to do more and more for her, because I know she appreciates it, and because she does so much for me. I'm not used to it, but I'm learning to enjoy it". Now that's reciprocity! That's how it should be.

I'm thankful to Simple Truths for their 100/0 Principle video. It made me take stock of the relationships in my life, and I'm glad to say that to my knowledge, all of my relationships are reciprocal to some degree. I have ended those that are not, those that do not feed my soul, those without true heart. It was not an easy task, in fact at times I thought I would never recover from the pain severing those relationships caused. But the "ripping off of the Band-aid" has allowed those festering wounds the fresh, clean air and light of day essential to healing.

Unless I resort to picking at them by looking through the rear view mirror of my life and asking endless "Did I do enough? Did I try hard enough? Did I love big enough? Did I give up too soon? Was I too unforgiving? Too hard to please?" questions, I know that as I put the past firmly behind me, the scars will fade away until they are indistinguishable, replaced with the healthy tissue of loving, caring, reciprocal, 100/100 relationships.

I wish the same for you. To view the 100/0 Principle video, click here: https://news.simpletruths.com/servlet/cc6?kpuitLQSDBUQTVJoLjLtPggxnuHptQJhuVaVR

God bless you.
--
'Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.' ~ J. M. Barrie