Just do it!

I stopped singing when I married a professional singer. I suppose unconsciously I felt he was so much better at it that I just needed to shut up and let him shine. But I LOVED singing, and had been doing it since childhood. In school productions, church choirs, even a company choir at a large firm where I worked for 5 years. One of my favorite memories is singing Handel's Messiah at Macy's in San Francisco at Christmastime one year. The crisp air, the scent of pine and cinnamon and all things Christmas floating in the air, the multicolored lights, the huge tree, the choir members' blended voices soaring to the sky, the shoppers who stopped to listen, smiling, singing along. I absolutely loved it. It fed my soul.

I've sung before small groups and thousands of people...as part of a group. Never alone. No, I take that back, I did sing one song for a group of male prisoners, accompanied only by a guitar. But they were a captive audience - literally - they couldn't walk out if they wanted to.

Over the years, my personal adversary kept whispering in my ear that I wasn't good enough and should "leave it to the professionals". I suppose I thought because I wasn't a trained, "polished" singer, I couldn't perform as well as others therefore shouldn't even try. Bottom line = I allowed myself to be robbed of something I loved doing, and could put my heart into, whether I hit every note or not!

I was given the opportunity to sing recently and I panicked. The person asking me had no idea all the stuff I had in my head involving singing in front of people. He didn't know my fears, my singing history or that I had stopped singing. I tried a couple of times to graciously say "no thank you" but he left the door open for me to accept his offer anyway. I couldn't sleep that night, as visions of standing before the people gathered for this event appeared before my eyes. In my troubled mind I could easily picture the scene: There they sat, awaiting my performance, as I opened my mouth...and nothing came out.

I agonized over whether or not I should try. What if I choked? What if I forgot the words? What if I opened my mouth and a squeaky little mouse voice came out? They were probably expecting some amazing, inspiring sound to come out of me, and it wasn't there! I'm just an "average" singer, nothing special. Martina McBride, I ain't!

But the more I thought about the reasons I couldn't, or shouldn't, attempt to sing for these wonderful people... the more God worked on my heart. "What are you afraid of?" He asked me. "Of failing," I replied. "But I made you, child, and I don't make failures," He said softly. "Don't you trust me to be there with you, to help you?" He inquired. "Don't you know I've promised never to leave you nor forsake you? Don't you know there's nothing I won't do for you? You can do this, if you do it with the right heart. Just open your mouth and sing. Do it because you love me, you love them, and you want to give. They don't expect perfection, but you are perfect in my sight, and I love you. So, just do it!"

So, I did it. I sang "America, the beautiful" at a morning flag raising ceremony, even though I still had fear. I took a deep breath, thought about the wonderful country we live in that I was about to sing of, and gave it all I had...no backup, no instrumentation, no musical track playing in the background. I wasn't as talented or polished as the girl who sang the day before, but it was a life changing moment for me. I didn't choke, I didn't forget the words, and people smiled and sang along. Not a big deal to anyone else, but God and I knew what was accomplished that day.

My exhortation to you today is this; when God presents you with an opportunity to manifest His love toward others by giving, no matter the venue, no matter how much better at it you think someone else may be, no matter your feelings of fear or inadequacy, take that opportunity. Do it afraid if you have to, but do it. Give. Don't listen to the "you're just not good enough" lies whispered in the dark. Turn away. Listen to the truth that you are perfect in God's sight, and you have something to offer. Who knows when you will be given another chance, and you may bless others more than you know. I guarantee God will bless you.